THE JOKER, THE SMOKER, THE EVERYHOUR TOKER

Refusing to pay for those Internet dating Web sites, I looked to Craiglslist again. I guess I am gluten for punishment or something, but I really wanted to get out in NYC and date. And I wasn’t meeting any men out in the real world so the virtual world would have to do for now but I did not want to pay my hard earned money to meet a date. I guess I thought if I wasn’t paying to meet a guy, I wasn’t that weirdo who looked online for dates. Oh, I was.

I met the Toker at a local coffee shop after speaking via e-mail for a few days. He seemed pretty cool in his e-mails. He was an obsessed music lover, like myself, and he looked pretty cute in his pictures so I gave it a whirl. I wasn’t feeling at my best on this particular day. I started, what was undiagnosed at the time, a Rosacea breakout on my face so I wasn’t feeling quite attractive. I covered up the best I could and met Toker for coffee. When he walked in the door he looked just like his pictures, which was a great sigh of relief. However, he was really tall. A lot taller than I pictured and that I could tell in his pictures. This usually doesn’t bother me since I am only 5’2” and everyone is taller than me, but this took me back a bit.

After we both got some drinks we proceeded to talk about the common love that brought us together: music. He was a doorman as some concert venue in the city and got to see a lot of great shows. He seemed really cool and had great taste in music. Then out of what seemed nowhere, he asked me if I smoked marijuana. Now, I am by no means a prude and have partaken in my fair share of the herbage in my youth, but this took me by surprise that he would be so forward to ask within the 30 minutes that we had met. I explained to him that I smoked when I was younger, mainly in social situations only. He looked confused by this.

He began to tell me, in great detail, of his love for the only true woman in his life, Mary Jane. And he asked me if I had a problem dating someone who smokes it everyday. Now, I have dated and known plenty stoners in my youth and I had hoped, as I got older, those days were behind me. I explained to him exactly how I felt about a chronic smoker. He assured me that my experiences were just with the wrong smokers and that he is not lazy and he works very hard and he just likes to unwind at home. I didn’t buy it. From all my experiences, and friends’ experiences, on being in a relationship with an avid every hour, everyday smoker, I have learned that is what they all say to the ladies. I felt (and have experienced) that most, who smoke it after breakfast, lunch and dinner, usually pass out on the couch after dessert and a winded competition of video games. Do I want to resort back to a college dorm-style relationship? I don’t think so. He really didn’t get what I was saying at all and just tried to convince me why smoking regularly is “awesome” (his word, not mine) even as we approach our 30's.

So he texted me later that week about going to a concert with him and his mom. Yes, his mom. I was blunt and told him that other than music, I didn't think we had much in common. He texted back asking if it was because he smoked pot. I said yes. I never heard from him again.

This was, believe it or not, a good dating experience for me to have. I was 28 at the time and when he asked me if it would bother me to date a regular pot smoker, I was actually surprised by my answer. I really didn’t care if someone smokes, but a habitual smoker was definitely not someone I wanted or want to date, as I get older. I want to go places and do things with my significant other. If I want to just sit around and watch TV 24/7, I would just stay single, get a couple cats and call it a day.